The first days can feel big. Here are gentle tips to help your little one feel happy and safe.

Before the first day

Most of the settling happens before your child ever walks through the door. Children take their emotional cue from the adults around them, so the calmer and more matter-of-fact you can be about starting, the easier the first morning tends to go.

• Walk past the building a few times so it becomes ordinary rather than unknown.
• Talk about it in simple, concrete terms — who will be there, what happens, when you will come back.
• Practise the morning routine for a few days, including getting dressed and out of the door at the real time.
• Name the feelings honestly. “You might feel a bit wobbly at first, and that is alright” is far more useful than promising it will be easy.

The goodbye itself

Short, warm and predictable beats long and drawn out every time. A hug, the same short phrase each morning, and then go. Lingering in the doorway extends the hardest part rather than shortening it.

Slipping away without saying goodbye is tempting when a child is finally distracted, but it tends to make the following mornings harder — children stay watchful if they think a parent might vanish.

Tears at the door are not a sign that something has gone wrong. For most children they stop within a few minutes of you leaving — and we will always ring you if they do not.

What settling in actually looks like

Settling is rarely a straight line. A child may sail through the first week and wobble in the third, once the novelty has worn off and the routine becomes real. Tiredness, clinginess and a return to broken sleep are all common in the first month, and all pass.

1. Week one: watching more than joining, staying close to one adult.
2. Weeks two and three: exploring further, choosing an activity, naming one or two children.
3. Weeks four to six: arriving with expectation, having a favourite corner and a friend to find.

How we help

Every child is given a key person who greets them by name, knows their comforter and their likes, and keeps an eye on them through the day. We start with short taster sessions, build up at your child’s pace, and send you a message on the difficult mornings so you are not left wondering.

Our teachers weave this into every day at kindergarten. Book a visit to see it in action.